Watch Full Olivia and Fitz's Leaked Viral Relationship 20 Minutes

Watch Full Olivia and Fitz's Leaked Viral Relationship 20 Minutes

#Gladiators, greetings from sunny Los Angeles! Mama has been traveling and when this episode of Scandal aired, I was in Austin for a comedy festival, eating my weight in barbecue until I got the itis. Suffice it to say, there’s a good possibility I might not fit into my bridesmaid’s dress this upcoming weekend, but who cares? Brisket tastes better than a powder-pink-colored dress looks on anybody, so with my BBQ-stained fingers, I’m giving zero damns.

You know what else I’m giving zero damns about? Olake. Yep, little Miss #TeamOlake of seasons past is officially done with their toxic relationship. Like, stick-a-fork-in-me done. My eggs are dying — I’m 31, hello! — so I’m really not in the mood for the same rehash of their ignorance, yet here we are.

nd they don’t end up together. This was sad the first 62 times we saw it, but now I just don’t care. Olivia and Jake will never be happy together. Enough already with this mess! He deserves better; she deserves better. Heck, we deserve better. Luckily, “’Til Death Do Us Part” gets into Jake’s tragic backstory, so it’s not just lame stunted romance. Poor fella. No wonder he is the way he is.

We open to see a little white boy playing outside of a dilapidated house while his dad physically abuses the mom. Then we cut to the present, when grown-up Jake is pouring Liv some tea. Apparently, Liv has been staying at Rowan’s place for a few weeks, laying low in the aftermath of her intense murder of Andrew. Jake tries to cheer her up by saying that after everything Andrew had done to her, she should only be sad that she didn’t kill him sooner. Um, sure? Then Jake goes, “You gotta do something with your hair. It’s a mess.” Um, no, ya dumb heaux. That’s how a black woman’s hair looks when it’s not straightened. It’s just sexy bed hair right now, so Jake, go die in a fire. I’ll bring the marshmallows. After he bounces, Papa Pope comes into her room to say that they moved up Jake’s wedding to this weekend. She looks concerned, a.k.a. she wants him now that he’s unavailable. Girl, take your ass to a therapist. This is ignorant. You have a 401k plan. You use Olay Regenerist Cream from time to time to keep your skin looking fresh and youthful. You should not be acting this simple. Sigh. Moving on.

Liv tells Rowan she’s going to go for a run. He’s happy she’s finally getting out of the house, but “go for a run” really means “meet up with Huck and Quinn.” Apparently, all of this heavy moping is just a front so Liv can figure out with Jake and Rowan are planning. Speaking of Jake, we head to a flashback of Jake’s time in the Navy. And LOL. The makeup and wigs that Scandal uses to make Jake and Rowan look younger are ridic.gov/FeelTheBern. I get it, though. ABC is on a budget and that budget is “Kerry Washington wears Prada and the rest of you fools have to fend for yourselves.” Anyway, we learn that Jake’s real name is Peter Harris — surprise, it’s real basic — and he has an anger issue that constantly gets him in trouble. Rowan tells him that he’s getting discharged because of his violent tendencies. (The last guy he attacked is a politician’s son.) His only options are joining B613 or going to jail for ten years. Jake initially resists, but agrees to join B613 after Rowan roughs him up.

Back to the present. Huck and Quinn are trying to find dirt on Vanessa, but she’s actually a decent person, so no luck. Liv realizes that she’s going to have to do some emotional manipulation to get to the bottom of the Ro-ake plan. On the night of the engagement party, she pretends she’s still devastated about killing Andrew. Jake is concerned about her, so he tells Vanessa he’s going to be late to their engagement party. Trifling. Vanessa is pissed and goes, “Why is this heifer here?” Uh, because Liv came from Rowan’s ball sack? This chick, who has been in the picture for 17 minutes, thinks she can start asking questions about why a child is chilling at her parent’s crib? Vanessa, please sit your goofy behind down. Anyway, she’s hella mad, then Rowan gets mad and tells Jake to get his act together.

Watch Full Olivia and Fitz's Leaked Viral Relationship 20 Minutes